you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is wine microwaveable?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
