three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
