I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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