Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
