I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
