I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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