The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
