Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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