Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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