i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
