I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
