dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
