Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
false alarm. still invincible.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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