Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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