Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
