i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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