You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I believe in your delicious
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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