I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
