My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
