I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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