She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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