i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize