I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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