I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
