So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
