Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
