It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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