Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
