I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My bed smells like the plague
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
