Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
