You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
