Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
