porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize