Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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