I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
