after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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