How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
