He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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