Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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