you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
