I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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