You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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