maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
