you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
