drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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