I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Swine flu. Run for my life!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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