The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
