i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
