I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
