Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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