on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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