I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
